AUGUSTA, Ga. -- The expression on Rory McIlroy's face said it all. As he walked up to his ball so right of the 18th fairway at Augusta National that it was nearly on the 10th, he let out a deep sigh and shook his head. Of course, it was not going to be easy -- not at the Masters, not for him, not after holding a six-shot, 36-hole lead and not even after already experiencing the feeling of having won here before.
The perfect final tee shot he hit last year to win the Masters in a playoff was a faint memory. Now, he had to find a way to get the ball in the hole in five strokes to wear the green jacket again.
"I thought it was so difficult to win last year because of trying to win the Masters and the grand slam," McIlroy said. "And then this year, I realized it's just really difficult to win the Masters. I tried to convince myself it was both."
The two-shot lead McIlroy held set up for a simple coronation: hit it in the fairway, plop it on the green and bask in the moment -- a stress-free walk up the 18th fairway that he was unable to experience a year ago. Instead, McIlroy slipped on his glove and took a long, unceremonious walk to move the gallery of patrons and create a clear view of his target. He was going to need to pull off one last escape.
"I don't make it easy," McIlroy said. "I used to make it easy back in my early 20s when I was winning these things by eight shots. It's just hard. It's hard to win golf tournaments."
Over the past year, McIlroy has tried with all his might to find freedom in a quest complete. But as he said Friday, he found himself unmotivated at times. He realized the grand slam was not a fulfilling destination, only a momentary one. But by the time the anniversary of his win arrived, McIlroy's perspective had shifted. He had spent the three weeks leading up to the tournament away from competitive golf and instead turned this vexing course into his practice facility.
"I joked last week and going into this week that this place feels like my home course," McIlroy said. "I haven't played anywhere else in the last two or three weeks, really."
He visited on day trips after dropping off his daughter, Poppy, at school. He played the course time after time, not necessarily hoping to find an edge but rather to fall in love with it again. Conquering this Sisyphean plot of land had been elusive for so long that McIlroy had come to both want the April trip to come as soon as possible while also dreading the pressure and potential failure that loomed.
Now, Augusta had transformed into a place of his greatest triumph, so McIlroy found himself gravitating here again and again. Recalling advice from Jack Nicklaus about how he prepared for tournaments by simulating a full tournament in practice, McIlroy played rounds at Augusta with one ball and discovered new portions of the golf course he'd never thought about. The rumor on the grounds this week was that, in one of those rounds, he had shot a would-be course record 62.
Other times, he slowed down, chipping and putting on the manicured surfaces as if he were rereading a book for which he had come to find a new affinity.
"I felt prepared in that way. I felt prepared that wherever I hit it on the golf course, I sort of know what to do. I know where to miss," McIlroy said. "I'm pretty comfortable with all the shots around the greens."
When he raced out to share of the lead Thursday and a six-shot lead Friday after shooting a 65, it was a welcome confirmation: The work he had put in had paid off. Despite not having his best stuff, missing fairways and pulling his irons, he was relishing every spot in which he put himself.
"My scrambling and my short game and my putting," McIlroy said. "That's what won me the tournament this week."
And yet even familiarity could not change McIlroy's software. He squandered his six-shot lead in a flash Saturday and had to dig deep to rescue his chances. Sunday was no different. He lost his share of the lead on the second hole then regained it on the third. He double-bogeyed the fourth hole and added another bogey at the sixth. He was suddenly two shots behind.
The roller-coaster ride continued: McIlroy birdied No. 7 and No. 8 and arrived at Amen Corner with a one-stroke lead. He stepped up to the tee on No. 12 and took his mind back to 2009 when he played a practice round with Tom Watson who offered a kernel of advice on the deceptive winds by Rae's Creek that have fooled many.
"He always waited until he felt where the wind should be and then just hit it," McIlroy said. "Just hit it as soon as you can."
McIlroy stood on the tee, a 9-iron in his hand, and waited. The suspense hung in the air, the wind was swirling. His caddie, Harry Diamond, grabbed a few blades of grass, walked forward and checked again. He stepped back and McIlroy stepped in and quickly swung the club back.
The ball curved with the breeze, landed and rolled to seven feet. Birdie. On No. 13, he drove it 350 yards in the fairway for the first time all week and rattled in another. A year after playing Amen Corner in 3 over par, McIlroy maneuvered his way through the trio of holes five shots better and with a lead he would not relinquish. Not this time.
On a day when no one seemed eager or capable of staying atop the leaderboard, McIlroy again did just enough to find himself there by doing it the only way he knows - not with dominance but with drama. Not with certainty but by displaying the full range of emotions and bringing everyone along for the ride.
"Of all the big sports, I do think it is the most mental. It's the most challenging mentally," McIlroy said. "I think it's hard to stay in the same mental space for four days in a row."
After getting his shot on 18 up and around every possible tree in his way and into the bunker that nearly snuffed his dream last year, McIlroy watched his par putt trickle by a few inches before marking it. At last, there was no more doubt or possible pitfalls awaiting him.
He turned toward the back of the green, saw his family and raised his arms. It was more joy and not as much of an overwhelming cascade of emotions as last year, he later explained. Those hit later when, after slipping into his green jacket again, he spoke directly to his parents.
"Mom and Dad, I owe everything to you," McIlroy said through tears. "You're the most wonderful parents. And if I can be half the parent to Poppy that you were to me, then I know I've done a good job."
Both had spent last April across the Atlantic, watching their son wrestle with himself late into the night before emerging victorious. This year, the two were here -- Gerry following Rory's rounds throughout the week while Rosie tagged along, a handbag slung over her shoulder that was painted with newspaper clippings of McIlroy's grand slam victory.
"I caught myself on the golf course a couple of times thinking about them, and I was like, 'No, not yet, not yet,'" McIlroy said.
When he finally allowed himself to think about them, McIlroy stepped off the 18th green and found their embrace. A year ago, he had refashioned this place from a personal hall of horrors
into a house he will be coming back to for the rest of his career. On Sunday, as McIlroy emerged a Masters champion again and buried his head in between his parents' shoulders, it looked a lot like home.
